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所谓亲人,就是看尽攻略,过年依然要互相桑害

来源: 南方日报网络版     时间: 2020年01月18日 13:38:41
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(自)(从)(不)(能)(催)(婚)(了)(,感)(觉)(我)(们)(都)(没)(有)(什)(么)(方)(式)(来)(表)(现)(,我)(们)(是)(亲)(戚)(了)(。
2
你)(能)(从)(一)(个)(长)(辈)(慈)(爱)(的)(目)(光)(中)(看)(到)(什)(么)(?
答)(:杀)(气)(。
当)(我)(妈)(慈)(爱)(地)(看)(着)(我)(还)(在)(咿)(呀)(学)(语)(的)(小)(侄)(子)(,我)(就)(被)(一)(股)(浓)(厚)(的)(杀)(气)(包)(围)(了)(,果)(然)(,“你)(看)(看)(人)(家)(,老)(二)(都)(生)(了)(,你)(要)(抓)(紧)(啊)(”。
虽)(然)(我)(很)(想)(说)(,妈)(,繁)(殖)(是)(有)(个)(时)(间)(表)(么)(?
但)(我)(是)(个)(孝)(顺)(的)(孩)(子)(,我)(只)(是)(站)(起)(来)(,跟)(着)(大)(姑)(默)(默)(填)(了)(一)(碗)(米)(饭)(。
就)(算)(你)(能)(躲)(过)(远)(亲)(催)(婚)(,你)(却)(躲)(不)(过)(近)(亲)(催)(生)(。而)(且)(近)(亲)(已)(经)(进)(化)(到)(,越)(过)(催)(婚)(,直)(接)(催)(生)(了)(。
小)(时)(候)(,你)(妈)(能)(用)(别)(人)(家)(的)(孩)(子)(逼)(你)(学)(习)(。长)(大)(了)(,你)(妈)(能)(用)(别)(人)(家)(的)(孩)(子)(逼)(你)(生)(孩)(子)(。
其)(实)(跟)(你)(妈)(最)(亲)(的)(不)(是)(你)(,是)(别)(人)(家)(的)(孩)(子)(。
3
表)(弟)(明)(显)(是)(不)(够)(幸)(运)(的)(。在)(我)(妈)(划)(出)(了)(点)(儿)(两)(代)(人)(之)(间)(的)(小)(火)(花)(后)(,大)(姑)(瞬)(间)(燃)(了)(。
她)(再)(次)(环)(视)(了)(桌)(面)(上)(的)(80后)(、90后)(们)(,选)(择)(了)(表)(弟)(。
“对)(象)(还)(没)(有)(呢)(吧)(,你)(憋)(提)(房)(子)(的)(事)(,你)(看)(看)(你)(们)(这)(些)(年)(轻)(人)(,动)(不)(动)(就)(提)(房)(子)(,没)(对)(象)(都)(是)(因)(为)(房)(子)(啊)(?我)(跟)(你)(大)(姑)(父)(结)(婚)(的)(时)(候)(,啥)(都)(没)(有)(,不)(也)(在)(一)(起)(了)(么)(。我)(看)(你)(啊)(,主)(要)(是)(因)(为)(太)(胖)(,真)(的)(你)(减)(减)(肥)(吧)(。你)(这)(工)(作)(是)(不)(是)(也)(不)(太)(努)(力)(啊)(,咋)(长)(这)(么)(胖)(呢)(”,大)(姑)(边)(说)(,边)(擦)(了)(擦)(嘴)(边)(的)(红)(烧)(酱)(汁)(。
听)(姑)(一)(席)(话)(,你)(不)(得)(不)(惊)(叹)(谁)(说)(父)(辈)(年)(纪)(大)(了)(,就)(停)(止)(学)(习)(了)(,他)(们)(的)(进)(化)(速)(度)(,超)(越)(你)(的)(想)(象)(。
你)(不)(是)(吐)(槽)(她)(们)(打)(听)(工)(资)(吗)(?不)(是)(吐)(槽)(她)(们)(催)(婚)(吗)(?人)(家)(都)(不)(催)(了)(。她)(直)(接)(指)(出)(你)(的)(不)(幸)(背)(后)(更)(深)(层)(次)(的)(原)(因)(——你)(太)(胖)(了)(。
4
我)(侄)(女)(不)(属)(虎)(,但)(她)(却)(和)(这)(种)(动)(物)(有)(着)(不)(解)(之)(缘)(,因)(为)(无)(论)(过)(什)(么)(年)(,她)(都)(有)(要)(歌)(唱)(两)(只)(老)(虎)(的)(命)(运)(。
那)(是)(她)(的)(经)(典)(成)(名)(作)(,“一)(只)(没)(有)(眼)(睛)(,一)(只)(没)(有)(尾)(巴)(,真)(奇)(怪)(,真)(奇)(怪)(”,她)(眨)(着)(媚)(眼)(、扭)(动)(着)(小)(屁)(股)(,配)(着)(特)(殊)(音)(效)(“嗷)(呜)(嗷)(呜)(嗷)(呜)(”……这)(个)(画)(面)(,幸)(亏)(她)(还)(是)(个)(小)(朋)(友)(。
因)(为)(在)(这)(首)(歌)(上)(的)(特)(殊)(天)(赋)(,她)(每)(天)(被)(她)(妈)(呼)(叫)(来)(表)(演)(这)(首)(歌)(N次)(,那)(种)(感)(受)(,估)(计)(只)(有)(一)(辈)(子)(靠)(一)(首)(歌)(上)(山)(下)(乡)(唱)(遍)(各)(大)(开)(业)(典)(礼)(、红)(事)(白)(事)(的)(过)(气)(歌)(手)(才)(能)(跟)(她)(相)(互)(理)(解)(。
但)(小)(侄)(女)(是)(想)(的)(明)(白)(的)(,在)(这)(样)(的)(直)(播)(场)(合)(,真)(正)(的)(主)(角)(不)(是)(她)(而)(是)(她)(妈)(。作)(为)(一)(次)(宾)(主)(尽)(欢)(的)(直)(播)(表)(演)(里)(的)(不)(可)(缺)(少)(的)(部)(分)(,不)(管)(她)(唱)(得)(如)(何)(懈)(怠)(,乃)(至)(口)(齿)(不)(清)(,走)(音)(跑)(调)(,观)(众)(们)(都)(得)(特)(别)(给)(面)(儿)(地)(鼓)(掌)(,换)(着)(台)(词)(夸)(她)(聪)(明)(可)(爱)(,让)(虚)(荣)(的)(小)(泡)(泡)(在)(她)(妈)(的)(周)(围)(漫)(天)(飞)(舞)(。
毕)(竟)(,晒)(娃)(这)(件)(事)(,不)(管)(是)(文)(化)(自)(信)(,还)(是)(教)(育)(自)(信)(,归)(根)(结)(底)(都)(是)(基)(因)(自)(信)(。
但)(是)(,去)(年)(的)(春)(节)(开)(始)(,小)(侄)(女)(的)(命)(运)(改)(写)(了)(。原)(因)(很)(简)(单)(,她)(学)(弹)(钢)(琴)(啦)(!
虽)(然)(她)(妈)(这)(辈)(子)(对)(音)(乐)(的)(最)(高)(品)(味)(就)(是)(听)(凤)(凰)(传)(奇)(,但)(这)(从)(不)(妨)(碍)(她)(对)(西)(洋)(古)(典)(音)(乐)(艺)(术)(的)(向)(往)(和)(追)(求)(。在)(练)(琴)(这)(件)(事)(上)(,小)(侄)(女)(母)(女)(斗)(智)(斗)(勇)(,甚)(至)(屡)(屡)(发)(生)(流)(血)(冲)(突)(事)(件)(。
然)(鹅)(,无)(论)(她)(妈)(平)(时)(肿)(么)(威)(胁)(,再)(不)(好)(好)(学)(就)(把)(家)(里)(的)(琴)(卖)(了)(,小)(侄)(女)(带)(着)(无)(限)(向)(往)(入)(睡)(,醒)(了)(发)(现)(钢)(琴)(还)(在)(家)(里)(。
“小)(哨)(,来)(首)(巴)(赫)(给)(叔)(叔)(阿)(姨)(听)(听)(!”手)(一)(挥)(,小)(侄)(女)(上)(了)(琴)(凳)(,就)(跟)(在)(肯)(德)(基)(对)(服)(务)(员)(大)(声)(说)(“来)(一)(个)(外)(卖)(全)(家)(桶)(”一)(样)(铿)(锵)(干)(脆)(。
这)(个)(时)(候)(,作)(为)(一)(个)(特)(别)(尽)(职)(尽)(责)(的)(主)(人)(,她)(妈)(还)(会)(专)(门)(为)(客)(人)(们)(做)(必)(要)(的)(知)(识)(普)(及)(:这)(个)(巴)(赫)(啊)(,就)(是)(德)(国)(著)(名)(作)(曲)(家)(,哎)(,就)(是)(被)(尊)(称)(为)(“西)(方)(近)(代)(音)(乐)(之)(父)(”那)(个)(blablabla……当)(然)(,这)(都)(是)(为)(她)(接)(下)(来)(的)(话)(做)(铺)(垫)(:老)(师)(说)(这)(孩)(子)(挺)(有)(天)(分)(的)(,这)(几)(支)(曲)(子)(学)(得)(比)(其)(他)(孩)(子)(快)(多)(了)(!
我)(觉)(得)(我)(侄)(女)(是)(不)(想)(弹)(的)(,但)(扭)(头)(一)(看)(她)(妈)(顺)(我)(者)(昌)(逆)(我)(者)(亡)(的)(磅)(礴)(气)(势)(,求)(生)(欲)(就)(瞬)(间)(被)(激)(发)(出)(来)(了)(。
接)(下)(来)(就)(是)(她)(挥)(舞)(着)(小)(短)(手)(,卖)(力)(地)(为)(大)(家)(展)(示)(神)(马)(是)(高)(逼)(格)(的)(弹)(棉)(花)(,DongDongDong,DuangDuangDuang……她)(妈)(总)(是)(边)(上)(一)(脸)(陶)(醉)(,至)(于)(亲)(戚)(们)(,作)(为)(亲)(戚)(,我)(们)(是)(有)(配)(合)(装)(逼)(的)(义)(务)(的)(,谁)(让)(亲)(情)(是)(这)(个)(世)(界)(上)(最)(珍)(贵)(的)(感)(情)(呢)(。
这)(种)(最)(珍)(贵)(的)(感)(情)(大)(概)(能)(维)(持)(十)(分)(钟)(,在)(令)(人)(昏)(昏)(欲)(睡)(的)(演)(奏)(氛)(围)(中)(,有)(人)(开)(始)(上)(洗)(手)(间)(,有)(人)(出)(门)(去)(抽)(烟)(,还)(有)(一)(拨)(人)(开)(始)(默)(默)(拿)(起)(手)(机)(刷)(微)(信)(朋)(友)(圈)(。
我)(们)(享)(受)(了)(,我)(们)(庸)(俗)(的)(心)(消)(受)(不)(了)(的)(艺)(术)(,但)(按)(照)(我)(们)(的)(消)(费)(习)(惯)(通)(常)(是)(,越)(看)(不)(懂)(的)(东)(西)(,越)(舍)(得)(为)(她)(多)(花)(钱)(。
于)(是)(,在)(演)(出)(结)(束)(的)(压)(岁)(钱)(阶)(段)(,我)(们)(都)(会)(跟)(小)(侄)(女)(补)(上)(一)(句)(“小)(哨)(琴)(弹)(的)(真)(好)(,要)(加)(油)(啊)(”。
小)(侄)(女)(喜)(滋)(滋)(地)(接)(过)(那)(个)(红)(包)(。
然)(后)(,一)(种)(马)(克)(思)(他)(老)(人)(家)(在)(资)(本)(论)(里)(,都)(没)(有)(敢)(于)(设)(想)(过)(的)(,人)(类)(历)(史)(上)(最)(残)(酷)(的)(剥)(削)(行)(为)(就)(发)(生)(了)(,——“妈)(替)(你)(存)(着)(”。
小)(侄)(女)(和)(她)(的)(红)(包)(,金)(风)(玉)(露)(一)(相)(逢)(,然)(后)(就)(相)(忘)(于)(天)(涯)(了)(。
5
作)(为)(深)(陷)(在)(各)(自)(命)(运)(中)(的)(晚)(辈)(,谁)(最)(难)(走)(出)(自)(己)(命)(运)(的)(阴)(影)(。
我)(选)(小)(侄)(女)(。
毕)(竟)(,我)(们)(被)(催)(生)(催)(生)(催)(减)(肥)(,可)(以)(报)(以)(一)(个)(看)(似)(憨)(厚)(、内)(心)(恶)(毒)(的)(微)(笑)(,然)(后)(继)(续)(勇)(敢)(的)(吃)(下)(去)(。可)(小)(侄)(女)(,她)(心)(里)(有)(多)(不)(爽)(,都)(得)(立)(刻)(被)(催)(到)(琴)(凳)(上)(,duangduang一)(会)(儿)(。
我)(们)(被)(催)(了)(,还)(能)(到)(互)(联)(网)(上)(吐)(一)(会)(儿)(。她)(duangduang结)(束)(了)(,钱)(还)(得)(妈)(替)(她)(存)(着)(。
此)(刻)(,桌)(上)(的)(红)(烧)(肉)(、红)(烧)(茄)(子)(、红)(烧)(排)(骨)(已)(经)(相)(继)(被)(撤)(下)(去)(了)(,中)(老)(年)(油)(腻)(的)(人)(们)(,叼)(着)(烟)(和)(牙)(签)(,走)(到)(了)(客)(厅)(。小)(侄)(女)(也)(在)(她)(妈)(的)(指)(导)(下)(,duangduang了)(好)(几)(首)(。
我)(们)(集)(体)(瘫)(在)(沙)(发)(上)(,看)(非)(常)(一)(言)(难)(尽)(的)(春)(节)(晚)(会)(。
这)(场)(命)(运)(轮)(回)(最)(悲)(催)(的)(部)(分)(,是)(她)(妈)(当)(年)(也)(是)(被)(催)(过)(婚)(的)(人)(。当)(她)(妈)(走)(出)(了)(春)(节)(被)(催)(的)(命)(运)(,就)(毅)(然)(决)(然)(地)(加)(入)(了)(催)(的)(大)(军)(,乐)(此)(不)(疲)(。
当)(王)(菲)(和)(那)(英)(一)(起)(出)(现)(在)(舞)(台)(上)(,我)(们)(拿)(着)(手)(机)(围)(观)(窦)(靖)(童)(那)(条)(“看)(见)(没)(,这)(是)(我)(妈)(,牛)(逼)(不)(”的)(微)(博)(,小)(侄)(女)(忽)(然)(站)(了)(起)(来)(。
“妈)(妈)(你)(看)(,不)(仅)(我)(可)(以)(弹)(钢)(琴)(让)(你)(自)(豪)(,你)(也)(可)(以)(在)(电)(视)(上)(唱)(歌)(让)(我)(自)(豪)(”。
房)(间)(瞬)(间)(安)(静)(了)(下)(来)(,我)(不)(该)(低)(估)(一)(个)(孩)(子)(。
“小)(哨)(你)(说)(的)(对)(啊)(,视)(频)(呈)(现)(的)(表)(演)(确)(实)(更)(让)(人)(自)(豪)(,你)(看)(这)(个)(腾)(讯)(跟)(和)(泰)(人)(寿)(一)(起)(搞)(的)(宝)(贝)(小)(金)(库)(,定)(制)(了)(一)(个)(春)(节)(专)(属)(活)(动)(,咱)(们)(可)(以)(录)(播)(你)(的)(表)(演)(,然)(后)(上)(传)(视)(频)(就)(可)(以)(生)(成)(你)(的)(独)(家)(拜)(年)(页)(面)(,然)(后)(妈)(妈)(帮)(你)(分)(享)(给)(爷)(爷)(奶)(奶)(、叔)(叔)(阿)(姨)(、二)(姨)(姥)(姥)(三)(姑)(夫)(,向)(他)(们)(传)(递)(你)(的)(新)(年)(祝)(福)(,他)(们)(还)(可)(以)(直)(接)(通)(过)(拜)(年)(页)(面)(给)(你)(压)(岁)(钱)(”。
“妈)(,那)(他)(们)(线)(上)(给)(我)(的)(压)(岁)(钱)(,也)(是)(你)(帮)(我)(存)(着)(么)(”。
“你)(这)(孩)(子)(说)(这)(话)(,怎)(么)(听)(着)(不)(信)(任)(麻)(麻)(呢)(,你)(以)(为)(这)(个)(录)(播)(要)(压)(岁)(钱)(的)(活)(动)(,是)(想)(参)(加)(就)(参)(加)(的)(吗)(?妈)(也)(是)(有)(成)(本)(的)(,要)(先)(存)(点)(儿)(压)(岁)(钱)(,开)(通)(‘一)(生)(保)(’互)(联)(网)(保)(险)(平)(台)(上)(的)(宝)(贝)(专)(属)(教)(育)(储)(蓄)(产)(品)(‘宝)(贝)(小)(金)(库)(’,咱)(才)(能)(出)(去)(要)(打)(赏)(。
妈)(愿)(意)(存)(这)(个)(钱)(,跟)(现)(在)(充)(钱)(送)(黄)(金)(的)(活)(动)(一)(点)(儿)(关)(系)(都)(没)(有)(,妈)(都)(是)(为)(了)(你)(。和)(泰)(人)(寿)(跟)(腾)(讯)(搞)(的)(这)(个)(产)(品)(,给)(你)(提)(供)(意)(外)(险)(、重)(疾)(险)(,而)(且)(每)(年)(都)(会)(有)(收)(益)(增)(长)(,到)(你)(18岁)(的)(时)(候)(,最)(多)(能)(领)(到)(存)(入)(金)(额)(的)(224%。等)(你)(长)(大)(想)(去)(音)(乐)(殿)(堂)(学)(习)(钢)(琴)(,就)(可)(以)(用)(这)(笔)(钱)(。等)(你)(学)(成)(回)(来)(,要)(成)(为)(中)(国)(的)(巴)(赫)(”。
好)(了)(宝)(宝)(,我)(们)(现)(在)(就)(一)(起)(开)(始)(录)(这)(个)(视)(频)(吧)(,你)(自)(己)(点)(这)(个)(小)(程)(序)(,开)(始)(这)(个)(神)(圣)(的)(仪)(式)(。
中)(国)(的)(巴)(赫)(,露)(出)(了)(非)(常)(一)(言)(难)(尽)(的)(表)(情)(。她)(本)(来)(想)(试)(着)(活)(成)(窦)(靖)(童)(,却)(被)(套)(路)(成)(为)(李)(谷)(一)(。
贪)(财)(好)(色)(的)(花)(儿)(街)(致)(力)(于)(为)(大)(家)(带)(来)(更)(有)(价)(值)(的)(阅)(读)(。原)(创)(转)(载)(请)(注)(明)(来)(源)(花)(儿)(街)(参)(考)((zaraghost)、作)(者)(,侵)(权)(必)(究)(。返)(回)(搜)(狐)(,查)(看)(更)(多)(
责)(任)(编)(辑)(:
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